Tuesday, June 25, 2019

The competitive nature of dating is part of the problem

A very interesting, tho quite long article about loneliness and problems that persist in spite of progress toward acceptance of gay people. Great food for thought. I think, also applies to non gay people as well.

Personally, I see a big source of these problems coming from the competitive nature of dating. It seems like the concept of finding that ideal "soulmate" can be problematic. Even for young people, or maybe even more so for young people, one is never good enough. On the dating apps, there's always someone "better" just a few swipes away. It can be kind of a stressful situation.

In my opinion, the higher expectations in our more progressive society can also cast a dark shadow. One is often haunted by the question, "is my life what it could be?"

Even before the era of phone apps, I found the whole dating scene to be problematic. That was back in the days when it was more about classified ads and meeting in bars. It still seemed kind of shallow and competitive to me.

I have to say that, personally, I never really participated in the dating world. Maybe I'm a bit biased against it as I do know of many happy couples, but I also know of a lot of problems.

Myself, I value different things from different people. In some cases, it may be an erotic appreciation of body shape, but there are so many other things I value as well. Good conversation, for instance. Finding all these things to line up in one person may not be impossible, but it seems improbable.

I may have not found the solution for everyone, but for me, I enjoy a wide range of different people for different reasons. Like a circle of friends and community.